Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
A bitchslap is in order.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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