I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize