Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
my liver is dry heaving
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
