So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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