Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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