I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
