Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
