reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
