You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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