tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
did i just pee glitter
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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