That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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