im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
zippers are such a cool invention
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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