Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
