Dual....:-)
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
