i just had sex bonerless
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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