is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
