If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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