Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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