Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
im on a boat
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