I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
