i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
