I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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