If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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