Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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