Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize