My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
