You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
