just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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