I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
