can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize