i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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