I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
