gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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