Screwed.edu
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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