just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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