you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
