Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
