1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
