Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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