toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
