you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is wine microwaveable?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
