He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
