Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
