No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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