Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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