I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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