how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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