Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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