my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
