playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Everclear isn't food dammit
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
