So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
