I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
