Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
