When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
ugly people sure do ruin things
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
