So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
