I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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