Buhtt sex?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
