So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
